For my Mom

I know this is very late.  I had a busy week last week with finals and everything, and I wanted to have time to write you a decent post.

I'm so glad to have you as my Mom.  You have done so many things for us.  You have always put your kids first.  Here are a few examples:

• Even though we didn't have a lot of money, you paid for private violin lessons for us.  You wanted us to go as far as we could.  I'm sure that was a big sacrifice.
• You always made sure that we were fed.  You were always willing to drop whatever you were doing to cook me lunch.  I don't remember ever having to figure out a meal on my own. 
• You spent your spare time trying to make our lives better.  Many parents have hobbies, clubs, or many different activities that take up their time.  Your time was always for your kids. 
• You encouraged us to pursue whatever interested us.  You let me play soccer, basketball, track, and swimming.  You let me play drums in the band.  You always believed in me and made me feel like I was good at what I did.

I know that I was pretty difficult for you.  I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble.  I wish I could change all of that.  I guess I just don't like being told what to do.  It's kind of silly sometimes. 

I'm glad that we are close now.  I really enjoy being able to talk to you, whether its on the phone or in person.  You always care about what I have to say, and what is going on in my life.

You taught us so well in so many different ways.  Some of the things I have already mentioned.  You taught all of your kids how to play the violin quite well.  You spent countless hours teaching us.  You taught us how to be disciplined with the violin.  I remember getting up at 5:30 every morning to practice.  I remember listening to our violin tapes every night.  I remember you picking me up during school to go to my violin lesson.  You always had an egg sandwich with cheese and a glass of milk for me.  You taught us how to appreciate music and art.  You taught us how to share our talents with others.  I loved going to Heritage Place and playing for the old people.  I enjoyed playing our violins as a family in church. 

You taught us how to be clean and organized.  You always kept the house very clean.  It was important to you.  You taught us to do well in school.  You taught us not to waste food.  You taught us that material things were not important.  You taught us to be respectful and well-behaved.  Most important, you taught is the gospel.  You taught us that we go to church every week, even if we are not feeling well.  You spent time with us at home, teaching us the stories from the scriptures.  You have always been unwavering in your faith.  You have never spoke out against any of the teachings of the gospel.  You have always been willing to serve in callings and spend many hours preparing for them.  You always try to do what is right.  I know that you have made mistakes.  What impresses me is that you are willing to admit them and talk to others about how you are trying to do better.  And you always do better.  I know that takes strength, not weakness, to do that.  You have been a great example to me, and I wish I could do a better job following what you have taught me.

One of the most important things you have done for me is to care about when you feel like you have wronged me.  Many many times you have apologized to me for a particular situation.  You really make me feel like you care about me, and you care that you make the situation right.  Many of the times I have been at least as much to blame as you, but you don't seem concerned with that part.  It means a lot to me that you have done this for me.  I have had a lot of hard times in my life, and many times I have felt somewhat abandoned by my family.  You have been the one person that has really tried to resolve everything with me.  I know this probably sounds like I'm upset with everyone else and holding a grudge, but I'm not.  I don't think this paragraph makes sense or sounds good to anyone else, but I know that you know what I mean Mom.

I know that this is long, and I know that I'm probably forgetting a few things.  I don't think I've explained how I feel very well.  I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you.  You mean so much to me, and I know I often don't show it very well.  You have done so much for me, and I always know that you care.  To end, I want to share my favorite memory with you:

• My very favorite memory was when I was little.  When you would put me to bed, I would ask you to sing me a song.  You always ended up singing several songs for me.  Those were the times that I felt the most loved, the most comforted, and the most peaceful.  This is a simple memory, and I can't really put into words how it made me feel, but I'll always remember the love I felt from you.  I don't know the names of any of the songs you would sing, but every once in a while I'll hear one on the radio or a movie or something.  Any time I hear one, I think of you singing to me. 

I love you Mom.

Jason